A brother lost in Violence

I lost my brother the 27th of september.Christopher Guiterrez fatally stabbed. I lost my brother. I lost him.;(

The phone rang like any other night, but the news hurt then any other news. it was one sentence, one was all it took. i fell apart in disbelief, it was made reality when i saw your face on the news,Now the family is all in mourning.

Today was fine, i didnt think much,except when i peered out the window i put my hand to my chest and began to grieve remembering your touch.

I had the feeling you were out there yet i knew you was gone, had you come to say goodbye in the mist of dawn.

i couldnt hold myself up when i thought of you, i couldnt bring myself down to let go of you. noone understands the good man you were. you became him on your own. Noone knows you grew up in a group home with no mom or dad. noone knows you born in prision, noone knows...but they are quick to judge but i know and in my memory is were you can always find a home. you were loving responsible and understanding and im going to miss everything about you, of you, in you, the joy to be around you.

The pain is deep in my chest it's a pressure that weighs down my heart.it's worst then suffocation here there is always another breath and that breath would be the cruel reality i am  without you. Still the love continues and i am to be without you. Missing all i ever knew could have known about you.

i dont hate the enemy that took your life i hate he had made that choice. i so wish in an urging dramatic, desperate way that both of you would have just walked away. He would be with his family and i will still have my little brother, whom i mourn and will mourn for the rest of my life.

Today i prayed and it was for you i know you in heaven and god has welcomed you. The hardest part is to move on with this life and wait my turn to see you in gods light. I dont want to let go i guess i never will, because in my memory and heart ill keep you because forever my love would be there, always was there here there still.

R.I.P Christoper Guiterrez

My little brother my Angel.I love you.