tRAPPED

He keeps telling me he loves me, I want to believe him as tears water up in his eyes. Im smiling when i speak to him trying to be strong and hide the person who is falling apart inside. He wants me to try but ive been trying for a couple years now and all i can see is him pushing me around. He tells me im not trapped here but i feel i am, i tell him to let me go to say it is best to do what my heart feels i must. But he keeps saying all he wants direguarding what i want. It wasnt much for me to ask him to control his temper i shouldnt have to see the monster claw me i shouldnt feel afraid of you, i shouldnt have to have another bruise because you lost ur mind....but your sorry, you always say your sorry. "it wont be like that anymore, give me another chance"he says. how many chances must i give before things get better, maybe they'll never get better maybe just worst. I know the feeling love could bring that is not what im feeling, inside im tearing, my heart feels like its under water, WHY CANT YOU JUST LET ME GO? iF YOU SAY YOU CAN CHANGE THEN DO SO BUT I DONT HAVE TO STAY, YOU PROMISED SO MUCH SO LITTLE I ASKED ANDYOU FAIL TO BE THE PERSON I BELIEVED YOU COULD BE. IM TIRED OF HURTING, THINKING OF HURTING MYSELF BUT I SEE MY CHILDREN CALL FOR ME, IF IT WASNT FOR MY CHILDREN I WOULD HAVE LOST MY SANITY. YOU DONT GIVE ME ROOM TO BREATHE, YOU WONT ACCEPT WHAT I NEED FROM YOU, YOUR THE VICTIM, IM THE SELFISH ONE. I STOOD WHEN YOU FIRST PUT YOUR HANDS ME I STOOD! ONLY BECAUSE I KNEW YOUR HEART BUT IT SEEMS YOUR TEMPER OVERSHADOWS THE GOOD PERSON THAT IS INSIDE OF YOU.THE PAIN IS UNBEARABLE, I CANT EVEN TALK ABOUT, MY HEART COULD LITERALLY SKIP A BEAT, IVE HAD ENOUGH ABUSE SINCE A CHILD.I NEVER FREED MYSELF I WAITED FOR MY ABUSER  TO FREE ME. IF IT IS SO YOU LOVE ME DONT KEEP ME HERE BY SAYING ALL THE REASONS WHY I SHOULD STAY,BUT ALL THE REASONS WHY YOU UNDERSTAND I SHOULD LEAVE.=(